I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
