There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
