Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
