At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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