Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize