I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize