For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
