after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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