I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
North Korea, Best Korea!
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
