the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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