The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
