so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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