you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
