there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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