i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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