so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
