and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
pray to the hookup gods
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
