He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
