You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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