im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
