he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Im part way to drunk.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
