First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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