i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
that's an acceptable place to lick
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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