Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
it glows. i had to have it.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
