Just took my morning after pill in the library
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
