You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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