she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
