Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
