does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
