please come you make the beer taste better
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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