you guys were way drunker than both of me
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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