# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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