Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
