i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
