He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
