i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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