I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Life is so much better after having sex.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
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I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
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First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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