so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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