I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
My balls are so social today.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
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