omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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