is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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