I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
