I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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