He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
