What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
