we're chasing vodka with high fives
tell your sister to shave her snatch
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
