my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
