someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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