There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
