Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Randomize
