Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
