i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
