thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My balls are so social today.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
