i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
