you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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