this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
