Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
