I want to stick my p in your. b.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
