i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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