if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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