I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
