Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
