I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
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he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
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I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Help. Why am I so naked?
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