The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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