Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
